Stench ReFresh: A Shizuru Crackfic
by Miggitdog
Summary: A sequel to Stink-Be-Gone: A Natsuki Crackfic.Also, I'm not really on crack, just Dr Pepper and Chocolate. ;D


Sorry I've been absent of late, a combination of school work, tiredness, Play Practice, the Holidays and writers block has left me unable to write recently. To make up for it, a bit of crack, I don't know if it's funny, I think it is, but I'm hyper at the moment, so pretty much anything is funny. xD Here!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own HiME or ShizNat, but at least I own Stink-Be-Gone and Stench Re-Fresh, they's gonna make me rich someday betches!

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Natsuki woke around mid-morning, groggy, with a killer headache and a stuffed nose. She took some ibuprofen and tried to clear up her nose, dozens of tissues littering the floor around her, until she gave up and just let the snot slide.

She giggled to herself and sang a little song.

"If your nose is kinda runny and you think it's kinda funny it'ssnot, it'ssnot, It'ssnot!"

Still grinning she flipped on the TV to see what kind of daytime trash was on.

The View. As soon as she saw what show happened to be on, she screeched and flipped the channel as fast as humanly possible.

What it landed on had her mouth dropped in seconds.

Takeda's face appeared on the screen with a creepy fake grin. "Do you fart? A Lot? Do you avoid beans, chili and all foods that cause flatulence? Do you leave the room or light a match? Do you still send your friends out gagging?"

Natsuki completely froze up as Shizuru appeared next to Takeda.

"I used to, but that was before I found Stench Re-Fresh!" She held up a small pad of some sort of fabric. "You just stick Stench Re-Fresh in your underwear and let it fly." A sound effect followed this demonstration that had Natsuki's eyes bugging out as she tried to process if this was real.

Takeda piped up again, "That's right! With Stench Re-Fresh, you're gas can smell great! This handy little product is perfect for changing the stinky smell of your gas into any of four scents.

Shizuru smiled, "That's right! You can get Fresh Field, Winterberry, New Car, and my personal favorite, Tea."

"Stench Re-Fresh utilizes your fart, it doesn't just cover it up. Chemicals carefully added to the soft cotton of Stench Re-Fresh allow it to alter the scent of your fart, so you aren't just hiding it, and it doesn't chafe!"

"That's right! Now none of my friends mind standing behind me in line, in fact they prefer it!" Shizuru giggled.

"Stench Re-Fresh also comes in special Pet-Edition. Do you have a cute little dog or cat that really stinks it up? No worries! Just attach Special Pet Stench Re-Fresh under his tail and no problem!" Takeda demonstrated on a poor little dog.

"Thank you Stench Re-Fresh!" Shizuru said.

The screen switched to infomercial payment options, and an Announcer's voice took over.

"Stench Re-Fresh is not available in stores. You can only get it in this special TV offer. 24 units of Stench Re-Fresh for just two payments of $19.95, but, if you call right now we'll double the Stench Re-Fresh and cut one of the payments! That's right! And as an added bonus, we'll even include a special trial of Stink-Be-Gone, our hottest selling freshness product!"

Shizuru's face appeared again, "What a deal!"

It returned to the payment screen and the announcer reiterated, "48 units of Stench Re-Fresh and a special trial of Stink-Be-Gone for just $19.95. Stench Re-Fresh, from the makers of Stink-Be-Gone."

Shizuru reappeared once more saying, "Remember, Stench Re-Fresh: Refresh your Farts!"

A Small warning flashed across the bottom of the screen, Natsuki only barely managed to read it before the commercial ended.

Warning: Do not stand in front of children, midgets, dwarfs, short people, or 'little people', as a direct whiff of the chemicals may cause brain damage. Stench Re-Fresh, Trademark.

Natsuki sat in awe for several seconds. At that moment her door opened, and Shizuru stepped in with a tray of soup. Natsuki simply gawked at her. Shizuru's smile slowly vanished as she glanced at the TV and back at Natsuki's face.

"You saw it then?"

Natsuki could only nod.

Then Shizuru smiled and said, "Takeda offered me all of the Tea scented Stench Re-Fresh I'd need for life if I did this, and how could I resist. It's really too bad he came up behind me while I was on a ladder changing a light bulb. He got a direct whiff, if you catch my drift. Oh well!" She set the tray down, and pranced happily out of the room, leaving a trail of tea scent.

Natsuki fainted, so totally pwned, that she did not even realize her nose had cleared up.

The End.

P.S. This is just to inform you all that P.S no longer stands for Post Script, it now stands for Phone Sex. That is all.


End file.
